


As The Years Go By

by celticheart72



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Aftermath of Violence, Angst, Attempted Murder, Choking, Complete, Date Rape Drug/Roofies, F/M, Forced Prostitution, Homelessness, Hospitalization, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Violence, Near Death, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Sex, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-26
Updated: 2020-01-28
Packaged: 2020-05-19 21:57:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 14,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19364734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/celticheart72/pseuds/celticheart72
Summary: Roxy and Harvey meet not long after she's dumped in Gotham and has to choose a life she never wanted in order to survive. Through the years they come across each other and gradually get to know each other. Eventually, Harvey helps her move on to a better life and they fall for each other.A/N: There may be mention of non con because OC is a prostitute, however there will not be any detailsTHIS FIC IS COMPLETE





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> WARNINGS: prostitution and mention of OCs first john without detail

The first time I met Harvey Bullock he was a brand new detective who still believed people were mostly good and worth saving. I was a 20-year-old prostitute fresh in Gotham after being dumped here by my asshole boyfriend with nowhere to go and no money.

I literally had nothing but the clothes on my back. He took off with our car, all of my belongings, and some chick in a tight dress he met at a bar the night before.

I tried to find work. Waitress in a diner or bar, barista, anything. But no one wanted the chick who didn’t even have an ID. I made myself a little sign saying I was stranded and needed money to get home praying that someone would have pity on me.

Someone had pity on me alright.

A creepy older guy in a suit driving a fancy car offered me twenty dollars to blow him in his car.

I was that desperate. At least I thought I was. I cried the entire time and he gave me five bucks.

That led to a life I never wanted.

Harvey picked me up one night trying to solicit him. I’d never seen him before. All I knew is he was better looking and nicer than the johns I’d encountered up to that point.

When I got into his car and took his money he showed me his badge and said I was under arrest.

I wasn’t even upset. I just offered him my hands and told him to cuff me.

He must have given me a side eye the entire way to the station.

It was my first offense so oddly enough, the next morning I was just let go.

While I was standing outside of the station contemplating my next move Harvey stepped up beside me.

“You gotta name?”

He might not have hurt me but that didn’t mean I trusted him.

“Roxy.” My alias on the street.

His lips disappeared into his beard. At least it looked like they did. “Well, mine’s Harvey.” He studied me for a minute.

I knew I looked rough. I was living on the street still trying to save enough money for a rathole in the Narrows. My dark blonde hair was dirty and pulled back into a messy ponytail. The clothes I wore hadn’t been washed since I stayed at the church shelter the week before. There were bags under my amber eyes, and I had lost weight.

“You need a ride somewhere?”

“No, I’ll be fine.”

Harvey took a deep breath and expelled it through his nostrils. “You don’t look fine.”

I crossed my arms over my chest and looked at my toes. It was hard not to feel like that was a slap in the face.

“Hey, hey.” He reached a hand out to my elbow. Then I didn’t flinch from him. I hadn’t been hurt enough yet. “That’s not how I meant it. You just look like you could use a meal and a ride somewhere safe.”

Tilting my head back as I chuckled I looked over at him. “Well, I don’t have anywhere safe. And the money you were going to give me last night was supposed to be for food for the next week.”

“You’re kidding right?” Harvey looked completely shocked. 

I’d only asked him for twenty bucks to fuck him. He looked like a nice guy and I thought it might actually feel good.

“Does this look like the face of a girl who is at all joking with you right now?”

“Come on, let me buy you breakfast then.” His hand motioned to the car he’d brought me to the station in the night before.

I shook my head. “No. Owing people favors just gets you in trouble.”

“Come on Roxy, no strings.”

“There’s always strings, Harvey.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNINGS: references Roxy being attacked by a john

The second time I met Harvey Bullock was about a year later after a john had been particularly brutal. I didn’t see the point in calling the police. After all I was a prostitute and they weren’t exactly known for being helpful to us. The hospital insisted though and Harvey showed up.

I had scooted myself to the side of the stretcher and was trying to get down when he walked into the room.

“Whoa, hey, let me help you.” He came around to where I was struggling to slide off the stretcher without hurting myself more and offered me his arm.

This time I stared at it for a second before accepting his help. He wasn’t as soft as he looked.

When my feet touched the floor my knees almost buckled and he grabbed both my forearms to steady me. “This guy really did a number on you.”

I knew I both looked better and worse than the last time he saw me. Certainly I’d filled back out and wasn’t as gaunt as I had been but I was probably black and blue head to toe. “I’ve had worse.” 

That made him raise an eyebrow. “Really?”

Something about his blue eyes struck a chord in me and I found I didn’t want to lie to him. “No. Not really.”

“Why don’t you go home Roxy? You’re what? Twenty-two now?”

I stood there holding onto his forearms, taking deep even breaths trying to fight off the tears I knew were threatening while I stared at him.

“Come on. I’m sure your parents would be happy to have their daughter home.” The look on his face was earnest, like he really believed that at the time.

“I can’t go home. For starters, I don’t even have an ID. And my parents wouldn’t take me back now. Not after what I’ve done.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“Good Christian girls don’t fuck for money Harvey.”

He huffed at me then and shook his head. It made his shaggy hair fall across his eyes and I couldn’t help but think if circumstances were different. 

“If you were my daughter it wouldn’t matter.”

I took a good look at him then. He was older than me sure, but definitely not old enough to be my father. His frown lines weren’t permanently etched into his face yet and his beard was completely strawberry while his hair was a medium auburn. The blue of his eyes was bright and hopeful rather than tired and cynical.

“What are you? Maybe thirty?”

Harvey chuckled then. “Thirty-three.”

“Yeah, not old enough to be my father.”

“If you can’t go home then why not just find another job?”

I started to slowly and painfully shuffle my way to the bathroom with Harvey trying to hold onto me but I shook him off. “Don’t you think I tried that? No one wants a girl without any ID.” Pulling myself up to my full five feet I lifted my chin and gave him my best intimidating look. “I could be a serial killer after all.”

He snorted. “Roxy…”

“Forget it Harvey.” I shook my head at him as I stood in the bathroom doorway. “I tried when I was dumped here and couldn’t find anyone willing to even give me a chance. The only _job_ I was offered was blowing some skeevy guy in his car.” I didn’t miss the way his jaw clenched at my words. “And there’s no point in taking my statement Harvey. I’m not going to tell you anything about the guy that did this because you aren’t going to do anything to find him.”

That might have been one of the rare times Harvey looked hurt by something I said to him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNINGS: mention of Roxy's drink being spiked, effects of drugs, solicitation and arrest

The third time I met Harvey Bullock was maybe six months later when he came into the diner where I sat in a complete daze. I was certain someone had put something in my drink at the club I’d been fishing for johns in. Once I started feeling funny I left and stumbled into the diner. 

I was staring in my coffee cup trying to remember where the hell I lived when Harvey slid into the booth across from me. My wide eyes lifted and when I saw him I smiled, probably a little too enthusiastically.

“Harvey Bullock! My favorite GCPD detective.”

His blue eyes narrowed at me. “Are you drunk, Roxy?”

“I don’t think so.” I was feeling particularly relaxed and pliable. Leaning forward I pointed at his nose. “Are you?”

Harvey got out of the booth and came to stand next to me.

I had to lean back to look up at him. He was really tall.

And good looking. 

His eyes were really blue.

“What is wrong with you? Are you on drugs?” His hands reached out and grabbed my arms, pushing my sleeves up so he could see my forearms up to my elbows. “No track marks.”

I wasn’t impaired enough not to be indignant at his suggestion. Shoving his hands away I stood up and pointed in his chest. “I don’t do drugs.”

When I stumbled over my high heeled boots and fell forward Harvey caught me. He held me at arms length and studied my eyes. “Maybe not, but I have the feeling someone slipped you something. Come on Roxy, let me take you home.”

“NO! I’ll walk, thank you very much…” I slurred at him and tried to pull away. He was really strong. And handsome. And he smelled good. I sighed and rested my cheek on his chest forgetting that I was mad at him for the moment.

He stood there, his hands under my elbows for a minute while I dozed off. “Did you just fall asleep on me standing up?”

Shit, I did. There was something wrong with me. Harvey was looking really worried now and I tried to focus on him, but it was hard. “I think someone put something in my soda.”

“Yeah,” he widened his eyes and shook his head. “Said that earlier. Maybe I should take you to the hospital.”

I shook my head so hard I felt like my eyes were going to fly out of it. It felt like the room started spinning and I put my hand to my forehead and closed my eyes. “No, please don’t. I can’t afford it.”

“Roxy, I can’t just let you walk out of here like this. It’s not safe. Tell me where you live, I’ll take you home.”

Something deep down inside me told me Harvey Bullock was a decent guy and would never hurt me. The life I’d led for the last few years had added so much self-doubt and fear that I let it overwhelm me. It told me Harvey just wanted something. Of course, he did. I was a prostitute after all, easy to take advantage of, especially for cops. This time I didn’t shake my head, just lifted my eyes to his.

He looked sincere.

The self-doubt didn’t care and whatever was in my system making me fuzzy headed made the fear loom larger. “No, Harvey. Favors get you in trouble.”

Harvey rolled his eyes and huffed out a sigh. “No strings Roxy.”

“There’s always strings.” I squinted my eyes and stared at a button on his shirt. “Didn’t I tell you that already?”

“Then I’ll just sit here with you until you sober up.”

The man actually looked serious. I was feeling a lot of things in that moment. Fear, anxiety, dizziness, and something tingled down low every time I pressed against him or his hand moved along my arm. He wasn’t going to let it go, I could see that in the stubborn set of his jaw.

A boldness I didn’t normally possess washed over me and I figured why not just get him to arrest me. I’ll be safe in a jail cell at the GCPD while whatever was in my system wore off. 

Putting my hands to his chest I slid my body up his until I was on the tip of my toes. I still had to tilt my head back to catch his eyes. “Why don't you just take me home and I’ll pay you back with a fuck. Or a blow job.”

“You’re really soliciting me right now?”

I gave him my best coy smile and nodded. My ears started ringing slightly and I started feeling disconnected from my body.

His hands went to my shoulders and he pushed me back down while he reached behind him and pulled his cuffs out. He was mumbling to himself about trying to do something good and stubborn women while he cuffed me and led me to his car. I wasn’t even sure he told me I was under arrest. When he got me into the backseat he had me turn my back to him and he took my cuffs off. 

By the time he pulled away from the diner I was laying across the backseat lightly snoring.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNINGS: mentions of abuse from johns, after effects of date rape drugs

I woke up expecting to be in a jail cell in the GCPD but instead I was lying in a comfortable bed that definitely wasn’t mine. Bolting upright I immediately regretted the movement when I felt like my brain crash landed on my forehead. It felt like I had the world’s worst hangover but I didn’t drink. When I lifted the comforter I discovered that except for my boots I was still fully dressed. 

Where the hell was I? 

This couldn’t be a johns house. I didn’t go home with them. It was their car, an alley, maybe the bathroom of a bar, or sometimes a motel. 

The room was somewhat messy but not uncontrollably so. Men’s clothes were scattered about and the walls were mostly bare. Definitely a bachelor without a regular female presence.

I heard footsteps coming toward me and I pulled the comforter up to my chin then cowered back against the headboard. Harvey loomed in the open doorway a minute later and I relaxed a little bit. He was wearing a dark grey t-shirt and loose black shorts. There was a glass in one hand and his other was holding something in his loose fist.

“Hey, glad to see you’re awake and looking mostly sober.”

My eyes dropped to my lap and I let out a nervous laugh. “Thanks.”

“Here.” He held out the glass and put a couple of white pills into my palm. “Asprin for your head. It’s just water.”

The pills were definitely Asprin, they had the Bayer stamp right on them. I stared at the glass for a long time though. Something scratched at the back of my mind that this was how I got into trouble last night. My stomach lurched and I felt, rather than heard, myself whimper pitifully.

“I have unopened cans of soda in the fridge.” Harvey offered as if he understood.

My eyes lifted to his and maybe he did understand. I didn’t see any judgment or anger, just concern. I popped the pills into my mouth and took enough of the water to swallow them down before handing back the glass.

“How are you feeling?”

“My head hurts.” I paused before lifting my eyes to his. “Did we…”

His lips pursed and he shook his head. “No. I don’t take advantage of impaired women. I brought you back here since you won’t tell me where you live. You weren’t safe.”

This wasn’t the first time something had happened to me. A lot of johns didn’t accept the concept of no means no even when they’re paying you to fuck them. They think the fact that they pay you means they can do whatever the fuck they want regardless of how you feel about it. 

Some of them like to inflict pain. Others want things that I’d never do if fucking wasn’t my job. Harvey probably found it odd that I was concerned about having slept with him considering what I did. 

Something dawned on me then. “I thought you arrested me?”

“Never said that actually.” He turned to leave the room. “Come on, I’m making breakfast.”

Why was he being so nice to me? Why did he even care about a virtual stranger? After all, we’d only actually met 3 times. None of our encounters were under the best of circumstances. And if I were honest with myself, each time he tried to help me. I couldn’t help but think, what did he want?

Turning in the bed I put my feet on the floor and stood up. I didn’t see my boots anywhere and figure Harvey must have put them out in the living room. When I walked out there I found his apartment was mostly open space except the little hallway that led back to his bedroom and bathroom. It was a little messy, like his bedroom, but not in an ‘I can’t take care of myself because I’m a man-child’ kind of way. More of an ‘I’m exhausted when I get home because I work long hours kind of way’.

When I made it to the kitchen I found Harvey at a toaster shaking his hand after pulling a bagel out of it. The bagel looked a little on the burnt side which made me smile. He was trying, which was more than I could say about 99.9% of the men I ever met. 

I was still conscious of the fact that he brought me to his apartment, put me in his bed, and didn’t take advantage like so many men would have of someone in my position. I’d seen the pillow and blanket on the couch.

It was all too much. Here he was trying to toast a bagel for a woman he should have taken to lock up. Favors hurt. As much as I wanted to think he was being nice because that’s really how he was, and maybe because he might like me as a person, I just couldn’t let myself go down that path.

Reaching out I grasped his hand before he could put another bagel into his toaster. “Don’t, please. I need to go.”

His blue eyes met mine and he pursed his lips while huffing air out of his nostrils. “I told you, Roxy, no strings.”

I pulled my lips between my teeth as tears threatened my eyes. What the  _ hell _ was wrong with me? “I’ve told you Harvey, there’s always strings. I really appreciate what you did last night, but I honestly have to go.”

He sighed and dropped his chin to his chest. “Alright. But one of these days maybe you’ll actually trust me.”

What he didn’t realize was that I trusted him more than anyone in my life right now and that scared the shit out of me. I also didn’t understand why he was going out of his way for me which scared me even more. 

After pulling my boots on I glanced back at him, he had his knuckles resting loosely on his hips and his head was tilted while he watched me. If this were another lifetime I’d probably melt. As it were I was on the verge of tears again because of him.

“See you around Harvey.” I slipped out of his door and made my way to the street before I let the tears go. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNINGS: mentions of a serial killer targeting prostitutes, solicitation, allusion to violence

A few months later I was in my usual spot pacing back and forth when Harvey pulled up.

Funny thing about Harvey. Despite the dynamic of cop and prostitute he never made me feel like I was subhuman because of what I did. He treated me…

Like a friend. And I kept pushing him away.

Harvey got out of his car and walked over to me with a few papers in his hands. “Hey Roxy.”

“Harvey, what’s going on?” 

When I looked him over I realized he looked a bit more haggard than normal. His blue eyes were pinched and he looked tired.

I didn’t resist when he pulled me over to stand inside the alley away from the street. My eyes dropped to the paper he handed me. It was an artist’s sketch. He was looking for someone.

“Roxy, you see this guy you call me immediately. Don’t talk to him, don’t get in a car or go anywhere with him. Do you understand me?” His tone was deadly serious and the flash of his eyes matched his tone.

“Okay. Harvey, you’re scaring me, what’s going on?”

“You should be scared, Roxy.” He bent to get within inches of my face and I backed up a step which made him pull his lips between his teeth and straighten up. It was the first time I’d ever actually shown any fear towards him. His eyes focused on something over my head for a minute before he looked back down to me. “Do you have a cell phone?”

“Yes.”

He put his hand out.

For once there was no hesitation. I just handed it over and watched as he flipped my phone open then typed something into it before handing it back.

“My number is in there. Not for the GCPD, that’s my personal number. You see that guy,” he gestured to the sketch in my hand, “...you call me. I don’t care what time it is. Do you understand me?”

My heart was racing by that point and he was making me really anxious. “Harvey, I got it, but you have to tell me what this is about or I’m just going to delete your number.”

That made him scrub a hand over his face and through his beard before pacing away a few steps. When he came back to me he gripped my upper arms and gave me a slight shake.

I tried to pull away but he held me firm.

“You delete my number that’s on you.” The look in his eyes was borderline fear and anger. “That guy is killing girls that look like you, Roxy. You might not care about what happens to you, but I do.”

Harvey Bullock came all the way here, not knowing if I’d even be here, to warn me and make sure I could reach him. It meant more than I could admit to him right in that moment.

Rather than do my usual ‘I can take care of myself’ song and dance I just nodded. “Okay, Harvey. I will. Can I keep this? Show the other girls?”

“Yeah, that’s fine.” He let me go then but hesitated before walking away. “Roxy, you need to promise me that you won’t go anywhere near him and will call me right away.”

“I promise, Harvey.”

Something in his expression said he didn’t entirely believe me. Not that I could blame him after I’d spent the last few years refusing anything resembling a favor. I still felt like I owed him for taking me home the night I’d been drugged. Maybe I could pay him back by helping him catch this guy.

That had to have been one of the stupidest thoughts that ever crawled into my head.

A few days later I was pacing my stretch of territory, waiting for business when a car pulled up alongside me. The window rolled down and the man inside waved me over.

“How much for straight sex?”

“Fifty, more if you want any kind of kink, and I don’t do bareback, you have to wear a condom.”

“I don’t fuck whores without one.”

I bit back the snide comment I was about to make. Calling me a hooker or a prostitute was fine but for some reason, I couldn’t bear the word whore. 

“Where?” 

Turning slightly I gestured to the alleyway behind me, “There or the backseat of your car, unless you want to pay the ten bucks for the motel across the street.” 

The run-down shit hole let most of the girls use their rooms by the hour for ten bucks each time they came back for the same room. Considering we were usually in and out within fifteen to thirty minutes it was a better deal for the motel than the usual thirty a night they charged for guests actually staying there. I was a favorite of sorts because I didn’t destroy anything and never asked for anything extra. They always assigned me the same room, number ten.

“The motel, I prefer to take my time.”

That should have been my first clue this guy wasn’t right. “Alright, number ten. They’ll give you the key once you’ve paid.”

I was waiting next to the door when I heard heavy footsteps coming toward me. Looking up I plastered on the fakest smile I possibly could because I was staring right at the man from the sketch Harvey had given me. He just glared at me with dead eyes. It was then I noticed he had a backpack over his shoulder. When he got to the door he practically pushed me out of the way to get it open.  

Somehow I needed to get a message to Harvey. This guy had already seen me, if I tried to run I wouldn’t make it far. The only exit from this part of the motel was back the way he came and I was wearing heels I couldn’t possibly run in. If I left now, he might never be caught and would keep on killing. I needed to try to stall him to give Harvey time.

Once we got inside I motioned to the bed. “Take off your clothes and make yourself comfortable. I’m going to freshen up a little bit and then we can take care of business.”

His eyes swept me over once before he moved to the bed. 

Either he was gullible or I was convincing. 

Once I closed the bathroom door I turned the water in the sink on and tossed a washcloth in it then dug my phone out of my purse. After sending a text to Harvey letting him know what was going on I turned my phone off and went through my usual preparations.

When I walked out of the bathroom, intent on getting my money from this guy before he got busted my heart dropped when I saw what he had laid out on the bed.

“I don’t do pain kink.”

“It’s not your choice.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a reminder, sex acts between Roxy and any johns aren't being detailed nor are any specific violent acts.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNINGS: implied rape, implied attempted murder, implied choking

A loud whoop whoop sound startled me awake.

“Your habit of not listening is going to get you killed one day, Roxy.” Harvey’s voice sounded next to me.

I turned my head to the right to find him standing there looking all kinds of mad. “What…” My voice was a raspy croak and my throat hurt like hell.

Harvey put a hand out to my shoulder and I flinched at the contact. His lips pulled back between his teeth and his eyes dropped to what I recognized as the side rail of a stretcher. 

I was lying on a stretcher which was moving to an ambulance.

When he spoke again his voice was gentler and laced with less anger. “You’re lucky I wasn’t that far away or you’d be dead right now.”

Someone in a Fire Department uniform stepped in front of him and pushed him back. “You’ll have to talk to her after we get her to the hospital.”

“Fine. Go on. I’ll meet you there.” Harvey didn’t sound at all happy but when the medics put me in the back of the ambulance he didn’t follow.

I just stared at the ceiling of the ambulance while the medic examined me, refusing to look at him but answering his questions. He wasn’t that much older than I was but I could see the judgment in his eyes as I responded. There wasn’t a point in lying to him. My life was what it was.

The ER doctor wasn’t any better. He was an older man, old enough to be my father, and as he checked me over he lectured me on the follies of my chosen profession. 

While I listened politely I chose not to respond.

Xrays were taken of my neck. Fortunately, nothing was broken, just bruised badly. But, I still had no idea what the hell happened. 

Well, that wasn’t entirely true. I’d passed out in the middle of that psycho john fucking and choking me. Frankly, I wasn’t even sure if he paid me first. At least I was sure he used a condom.

The doctor wanted me to stay overnight, just in case I had breathing issues. I refused. It was another bill I couldn’t afford and didn’t feel the need to take up a bed that someone else might need more than me. He convinced me to stick around until GCPD got there though.

Harvey walked into my room not long after with a cup of soft vanilla ice cream. My eyes narrowed on it then focused on him as he tried handing it to me. “I figure it might ease the pain in your throat so you can talk a little easier.”

My heart melted a little at his words and the tension in my shoulders released. “Thank you,” I whispered and took it from him.

He nodded and sat down in the chair next to the stretcher I was lying on. His blue eyes were focused on my neck while I ate some of the ice cream he brought me and I felt tears in my eyes. For the last few years all he’s tried to do was be nice to me and be my friend and I was just too afraid to get attached. 

What if he abandoned me like Jason did?

“Roxy, why didn’t you listen to me?”

I paused with the plastic spoon halfway to my mouth and set it back in the cup. “I did,” I whispered. My throat was numb from the cold but I still felt the need to press my fingers to the middle of it when I continued. “I didn’t see his face until after he paid for the room and met me at the door.”

“If I’d gotten to you even a minute later I’m not sure we’d be sitting here right now.”

My eyes focused on the ice cream in the cup and I spooned some more of it into my mouth. I wasn’t sure where he’d gotten it but it was the best vanilla ice cream I’d ever had. “Why does it matter?” 

His forehead furrowed as he looked at me and his eyes flashed. “What?!”

“Why do I matter to you?”

“I’m not allowed to care?”

“Men don’t care for no reason.”

Something that sounded a lot like a snort escaped him and he shook his head. “You’ve been with the wrong men then.” 

I watched his eyes drop to the floor as he sat back and crossed his arms over his chest. Finally, those pretty blue eyes of his lifted to me.

“I like you Roxy. Something about you the first time we met just clicked and I actually wanted to know you. The real you, not that face you put on for everyone else.” He shook his head again. “But you keep that mask on thinking I’m like all the rest when all I want is for you to trust me maybe just a little bit.”

The words were right there on the tip of my tongue. I do trust you, Harvey. But I couldn’t say them. Instead I shook my head and gave him a sad smile. “I’m not worth it.”

“Roxy…”

“Do you need anything from me to put that creep in jail?”

Harvey let out an exasperated huff. He knew when not to push me at this point. “Creep is dead, he won’t be hurting anyone else.”

My throat felt tight and I felt my head bobbing as tears threatened my eyes again. “Thank you, Harvey.”

His eyes met mine again and we just stared at each other. “I’m guessing if I offer you a ride home the answer will be no.”

“You would be correct.”

He sighed as he stood up and made his way to the door where he paused to look back at me. “Maybe one day you’ll trust me.”

I stared down into the cup that held the ice cream he’d brought me so my throat would feel better when I talked to him. A few tears dropped into that little cup. Lifting my eyes to the doorway he’d vacated I whispered, “I already do.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNINGS: Roxy attacking her ex and going to jail

Over the next few years my life calmed down somewhat. At least as far as crazy johns were concerned. No more serial killers or sadistic bastards who didn’t think a prostitute could say no once they gave you their money. 

That’s not to say I didn’t get slapped around on occasion. 

I would like to say that I was tough and fought back but I was never a fighter. My response to confrontation had always been to shrink into myself. For the most part I just learned how to bottle up my emotions. It seemed like the johns who enjoyed that shit liked it even more when you cried.

After the serial killer fiasco Harvey started making a point to text me every few days to make sure I was alright. I did my best to make sure he believed I was fine but he somehow always seemed to know when I wasn’t. As much as it touched my heart that he genuinely cared I tried really hard to keep that line drawn in the sand between us.

He was a cop and I was a prostitute. 

I knew it would lead down a difficult path for both of us. Frankly, I just wasn’t prepared to open my heart to him any more than I already had. Being friends with the man was difficult enough. 

The truth was, I knew I could easily fall in love with him.

I had this recurring nightmare of Harvey telling me I wasn’t good enough. He was laughing and pointing, saying I was just a whore. His nightmare self was nothing like the real Harvey, but it was enough to wake me up hyperventilating nearing a panic attack. If he ever looked at me and said those words I wasn’t sure what I’d do.

All I knew was that I never wanted to find out.

It was my head being in the clouds thinking about Harvey and our non-relationship that got me into trouble. Yet again. 

My stash of condoms was low so I was in the pharmacy to buy some more. Yes, I actually bought my condoms unlike some of my counterparts who either didn’t use them at all or stocked up at the free clinic. Maybe I was being ridiculous but I didn’t feel like I had the right to take those free condoms. Perhaps it was a way of further punishing myself by making myself walk into the pharmacy and buy several of the highest quantity boxes of condoms they had. The clerks all knew why I was buying them.

I was standing at the pharmacy counter waiting for the line to move forward when I heard a voice behind me I never thought I’d hear again. 

“Wow, I can’t believe it! Boo…”

I spun on my heels to face Jason as my eyes darted around to make sure no one I knew was in the store. When I was sure no one recognized me I grabbed his forearm and pulled him to the hallway leading to the bathrooms. 

He was looking at me like he’d seen a ghost. Not much had changed with him, he still had the same jock frat boy look he did five years ago when he left me stranded in Gotham.

“What _the fuck_ are you even doing back here, JASON?”

“I...uhm...well, I was coming back through with Jessica and she needed some…” Jason looked sheepish then and started scratching the back of his head.

“Jessica…” I pulled my lips into my teeth to keep from screaming at him. “Is that the chick you abandoned me for?”

“Abandoned you? I didn’t abandon you.” He had that pissy look on his face he got when I called him out on being a jerk.

What did I ever see in him? 

Oh. Right. He was the star running back of my high school. For some reason he liked the little bookworm I was back then. All I wanted was someone to notice me. For a boy to fall in love with me and take care of me, protect me. Jason had been planning on getting away from our small town and took me with him. That was the fairy tale. 

God, did it ever have an ending like the real folk tales did. Not the sugar coated Grimm’s fairy tales our moms told us as little girls. I got the fucked up ending from the real German horror stories.

“What the fuck do you call taking off with another woman and leaving me behind with _nothing_?” I had the boxes of condoms tucked into the crook of one arm and I felt the other hand balling into a tight fist.

“God Boo, you always were melodramatic. I didn’t leave you with nothing. I put all of your stuff on the sidewalk outside the diner.”

Something inside me snapped and I swear a banshee came out. I was screeching at the top of my lungs while I threw the condoms at him then pummeled him with my fists. He made the mistake of getting his hair within my reach and I latched onto it and propelled his head into the wall next to him. A few minutes later when the store employees rushed in and pulled me off of Jason I was still screaming at him.

An hour later I was sitting in the pharmacy managers office sniffling, my hands were in cuffs, and I was just staring at nothing.

A gentle hand touched my shoulder and I nearly jumped out of my seat. I’d gotten to the point that I had to be very conscious about my reaction around johns because I was likely to flinch away at the smallest touch. I used to love to be touched, but I’d grown to hate it.

“Whoa there Roxy. It’s just me.” Harvey’s voice soothed.

I closed my eyes and prayed to a god I didn’t believe in that I wouldn’t cry.

He pulled the other chair from behind the manager’s desk and straddled it in front of me. “What happened?”

Rather than answer I just shrugged and sniffed.

“Come on, Roxy. I know you. This isn’t you.”

“You don’t know me, Harvey.” You don’t even know my real name, I thought to myself.

“I know you well enough to know you aren’t prone to outbursts like this.” He was quiet while he waited for me to say something. When I didn’t I heard a heavy sigh. “Clerk said you were yelling about him abandoning you?”

My eyes focused on Harvey’s knee on the right of the chair and the way his hands hung loosely in the air.

“Listen, Jason and his wife want to press charges, Roxy…”

My heart started pounding in my chest and I lifted my eyes to meet Harvey’s concerned blue ones. “Wife?”

“Yeah, apparently she was outside in their car when the fight started. Jason said he came in to get her some ginger ale and crackers for morning sickness and that you just went bat crap crazy on him.”

“Morning sickness?” My tongue felt like sandpaper in my mouth.

“Yeah.” Harvey said something else but I wasn’t paying attention anymore. All I could hear was Charlie Brown speak.

Finally a uniformed officer came in and escorted me out to a waiting GCPD squad car. He pushed me down into the back seat and slammed the door closed.

That was the first official ding on my record. Every other time I’d been taken in I was let go. Not this time. Jason had never been able to let anything go, he was vindictive to the point of being a bully. I saw that now.

I was going to spend at least a month in jail and serve community service after I got out. I’d have to pay for Jason’s medical bills for him to have his stupid head scanned to make sure I didn’t break his brain. 

Harvey came by to see me while I was waiting to be moved to Black Gate. That’s where everyone went that wasn’t just sleeping off a drunk. I was sitting in my holding cell, hands still cuffed together, wearing my immensely flattering prison garb.

“Why didn’t you tell the judge what really happened?” His voice was quiet as he leaned against the bars with his hands in his pockets.

“Jason told them everything.” 

“That putz told the judge his twisted version of what happened.”

“Yeah, well, he’s an all-star fucking athlete with a pregnant wife and a bright future.” I sniffed as tears fell onto my wrist and the cuff there. I watched it slide off the metal and drip to the floor. “I’m just a down on her luck prostitute. Who cares about me?”

“Jesus Roxy, I care, damnit.”

I wouldn’t look at him. “You shouldn’t Harvey, I’m not worth it.”

He was silent for a while before I heard him move to the door. “You watch yourself in there. And if you run into trouble drop my name.”

The door to the lockup squeaked shut and I sat there sobbing silently until it was time for me to go.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNINGS: allusion to Harvey’s drinking, mentions of sex and arousal 

Over the next few years, I watched as Harvey started growing cynical with Gotham in general. It was never directed at me, though.

Somehow, despite everything, he remained hopeful that one day I’d let him in; that I’d trust him.

I don’t think he ever really understood how big of an impact all of the little things he did for me made. He did all of those things knowing that I might never open up to him.

After I got out of Blackgate, I started noticing Harvey looking a little more haggard. When I’d turn down a ride home or his occasional offer to share a meal, he looked a little more forlorn. I’d catch a whiff of liquor on his breath on some of those occasions, and it scared me. 

Not of him;  _ for _ him; I was afraid of the black hole he was slipping into; worried it might take him away from me. 

Who was I kidding? I loved Harvey Bullock. There was no question any longer. But I didn’t see any hope for us. I was still a prostitute, and he was still a cop. How was that supposed to work?

One night, I was huddled in a bus stop shelter while it stormed around me wondering where I got the brilliant idea that I needed to work in the rain. I just wanted to go home, but I didn’t have an umbrella and it was thundering and lightning to boot. It was raining so hard, I was soaked and freezing, even though I had a vague roof over my head.

Resigned to either wait out the storm or pray that a john would come along, I pulled my jacket further around me and pressed back into the corner. I had only closed my eyes for a split second when I heard my name, and it sounded like Harvey’s voice.

Opening my eyes, I found Harvey standing in front of me with a huge umbrella over his head. A flash of lightning illuminated his face, and his blue eyes looked sad. This time when he reached his hand out for me, I didn’t hesitate. I put my hand in his and let him pull me under the umbrella and walk me to his car. He shielded me from the rain while I got in the car, and he closed the door.

My heart was thundering in my chest as I watched Harvey open the driver's door. He closed the umbrella and shoved it into the back of the car with a curse. Before he got behind the wheel and slammed his door, the interior light of the car revealed he was nearly as soaked as I was. I watched his face for a few seconds while he looked around and tapped his fingers on the steering wheel. 

“Please don’t argue with me this time, sweetheart. This storm’s supposed to get worse and my apartment is only a few blocks away.” He didn’t look at me while he spoke, probably thinking I was going to say the same thing I always did.

But I didn’t. “Okay.” That was all I said.

Surprise registered briefly on his face and his eyes flicked to me, like he was trying to make sure he heard me right. I was shivering and my teeth started to chatter. He reached down and turned the heat on, then turned one of the vents toward the middle of my body.

I felt tears in my eyes at that small gesture. He paid closer attention to my needs than that ex jerk of mine ever did.

His chin gestured in the direction of my seatbelt and I reached back to pull it on. Harvey waited for the click before he pulled away from the curb. 

Visibility was for shit, and I didn’t blame Harvey for just wanting to go back to his apartment. He wasn’t kidding when he said it was a few blocks away. Two turns from where we started, and he was pulling into a parking lot behind a large apartment building. 

“Stay there,” he told me after shutting the car off.

Harvey jumped out and grabbed his umbrella quickly, then locked and slammed the door. When my door opened, he was dripping wet but had the umbrella open to shield us both from the worst of the rain. I got out and ran with him to the back door of his building. When we got inside, he closed the umbrella again.

I held up my hands in front of my face and laughed when he shook himself out. “You’re like a wet dog, Harvey.”

He stopped suddenly and smiled. “I don’t think I’ve ever really heard you laugh, Roxy.”

My eyes dropped to the floor. “I guess I haven’t had much to laugh at the last…” Geez, how long had it been since Jason left me here? “...seven years.” Probably even longer than that.

His blue eyes studied my face until my teeth started chattering again, and he pointed toward the stairs in front of us. “Come on, second floor.”

I had been here once when he brought me home to keep me safe after I had been roofied, but I honestly didn’t remember where his apartment was. So, I just followed along behind him, leaving a puddle of rainwater as we went.

His apartment looked much the same as I remembered it, though, it was a little bit messier. I stepped into his kitchen so I wouldn’t soak the carpet while he locked the door and put the umbrella away.

“I’ll be right back. Let me get some towels.” He took his jacket off as he walked down the hallway to his bathroom, and my eyes were drawn to his shoulder holster.

When he came back he held out two fluffy towels and a grey t-shirt. “You can use the shower if you want. Just leave your wet clothes in the bathroom. I can take them downstairs and put them in the dryer.”

I shook my head as I accepted the towels and t-shirt. “No need. I’ll just hang them up over the shower curtain rod. They’ll be dry by morning.”

The words left my mouth before I realized I was saying them. If they surprised Harvey, he didn’t let it show. I made my way back to his bathroom and closed the door behind me.

After turning the hot water on, I undressed and wrung out each article of clothing in the sink. I left it all sitting in the sink and put Harvey’s t-shirt on the back of the door before I stepped under the shower spray. There was a bar of what looked like Ivory soap on one of the shelves, so I used that to wash my hair and body. When I was done, I stood under the hot water for another few minutes just letting it warm me. I hadn’t realized just how cold I was.

I turned the water off and used one of the towels to dry my hair and wrap around my head. After drying my body with the other one, I lifted Harvey’s shirt off the back of the bathroom door and brought it to my nose. It smelled like him, and I closed my eyes as I relished his scent.

A wet heat bloomed between my legs, and I pressed my thighs together. What the fuck? That had not happened in seven years. I had to use lube for everything because I just didn’t get wet on my own anymore, and I didn’t bother to touch myself because it simply didn’t do anything for me, even with the damn lube.

Pulling the t-shirt over my head, I let it settle into place around my hips and when the fabric brushed over my nipples, I had to suck in a breath. They were sensitive.

Lifting the neck of the t-shirt up to my nose, I inhaled deeply again and felt my pussy tingle. There was definitely something about Harvey that was doing this to me. Sighing in disappointment, I rubbed my fingers into my eyes. Stop it, I thought to myself, he doesn’t want you like that.

Shaking myself out of the sexual fog I’d somehow descended into, I picked up my clothes from the sink and started hanging them over the shower curtain rod. I considered putting my panties back on, but they were soaked and needed at least an hour or two to dry. Fortunately, Harvey’s t-shirt fell to my knees, so I didn’t have to worry about flashing him.

How odd, I thought to myself. I was naked in front of johns all the time and had grown numb to that. The thought of being naked in front of Harvey was making me nervous and strangely turning me on. I had to stop this. 

Finally, after toweling my hair to a damp dry and finger combing it, I took a deep breath and opened the bathroom door.

My eyes lifted to look through Harvey’s open bedroom door when I stepped into the hall. He was sitting on the edge of his bed in a t-shirt and a pair of baggy shorts with his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands. 

I wasn’t sure what was on his mind, but something screamed at me that something inside him was hurting. All I wanted to do was make whatever was causing him any pain go away. That realization made me stop before I took a step toward him. 

Wasn’t that exactly what he had been trying to do for me all these years? Offer just a little safety and support so I wasn’t facing everything alone? And every time, until now, I had turned him down, pushed him away. What if…

What if he felt the exact same way I did and was afraid of being rejected?


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNINGS: blow job, sex, angst

The reality that we were both vulnerable suddenly hit me, and I didn’t want to hold back this time.

My feet moved almost on their own, and before I knew it, I was kneeling in front of Harvey and placing my trembling hands on his knees. He lifted his face to look at me and dropped his hands. 

His pretty blue eyes pinched as he looked at me, and his hands covered mine. “Are you okay? You’re shaking.”

“I’m okay,” I whispered, and walked forward on my knees so I was between his. 

Our lips were so close that we were sharing breath, and it was probably the most erotic moment of my life so far. My eyes watched as he licked his lips, and my heart fluttered in my chest, filling my ears with the whooshing sound of the blood in my veins as I leaned in and kissed him lightly. At his sharp intake of breath, I started to pull back, thinking that I had made a mistake, but his hands lifted to cup my face, and he deepened the kiss. 

His thumbs brushed back over my cheekbones as his tongue delved into my mouth, and I felt like I was melting from that alone. I moaned softly into his mouth just before he broke the kiss. He rested his forehead against mine and looked into my eyes.

“What are you doing to me, sweetheart?”

“Do you want me to stop?”

“No, but…” He sighed heavily. “...I also don’t want to take advantage.”

I shook my head and pulled back to look him fully in the face. “You’re not. I want this, Harvey. I want you. For the first time since before all of this began for me, I want this.”

He started to say something else, but I put a finger to his lips to hush him. Leaning in again, I pressed a feather-light kiss to his lips, then walked my knees back so I could do what I really wanted in that moment. I wanted Harvey’s shorts off so I could suck on his cock. 

When my hands went to the waistband of his shorts, his hands covered mine and held them tightly. “You don’t need to do that, you’re not…”

“Harvey, I’m not doing anything tonight because it’s my job, or I think I owe you something, or I think I have to. Right now, I want to suck your cock because that’s what I want to do. Is that okay with you?”

His response was a slightly strangled ‘uh huh’ before he lifted his hips and let me pull his shorts off. He wasn’t wearing any underwear either.

Harvey Bullock was nicely endowed. His cock was neither too large, nor was it small by any means. He was hard already and weeping pre-cum from the tip, which I leaned down to swipe away with my tongue, making him suck in a breath.

My eyes lifted to his, which were darker than normal and full of desire. The fact that he actually wanted me was a huge confidence boost, and I reached my tongue out to cup the underside of his cockhead. He bit his lip as I ran my tongue around the soft skin there and grunted when I reached a hand up to grasp his shaft.

I watched his face as I jerked him softly a few times and sucked the head into my mouth. His nostrils flared, and he kept his bottom lip between his teeth. My tongue ran over the back of his shaft as I gripped him a little tighter and jerked up as my tongue ran over the tip and licked off more of the pre-cum there. He drew in a breath and groaned softly as I hollowed my cheeks and sucked his cock into my mouth about halfway while I jerked him with my hand. 

When his fingers threaded through my hair, I knew he was really enjoying what I was doing to him. I alternated sucking his cock with running my tongue along the shaft and over the head, either gripping while I jerked him or running my fingers softly over his skin. Finally, it seemed he couldn’t take anymore. When my hand cupped his balls and started to play with them, he reached down and stilled my hands.

“You gotta stop, sweetheart. I’m gonna cum, and I don’t want to do that in your mouth this time.” He was breathing heavily, and I could see he was trying very hard to keep himself under control.

Smiling with the head of his cock still in my mouth, I let my teeth lightly scrape his skin before I let him go. Motioning to the bed, I stood up in front of him forcing him to lean back a little to look at my face. “Get on the bed. I have to get condoms from my bag.”

His hands went to my hips and pushed me back slightly so he could stand. “No need; I have some in the nightstand.”

He moved around to his nightstand, and I admired his legs and ass. I loved the fact that he was soft in all the right places and hard in all the right places as well. It was like being near a strong teddy bear. 

I watched him close the drawer and set a few foil packets out onto the nightstand while keeping one in his hand as he climbed back on the bed. He pulled his t-shirt off and tossed it to the floor, and the sight of him naked in front of me sent another rush of wet heat between my legs. My nipples were tingling against the fabric of Harvey’s t-shirt, and my core clenched in need. 

There was no question, I needed Harvey inside of me, and I was going to cum on his cock. 

“You alright, sweetheart?” His eyes were a little concerned as he looked at me standing there staring at him.

Smiling, I moved up onto the bed and straddled his thighs. “Just a little nervous. This is you and me.”

“We don’t have to do this. I don’t expect anything from you. I hope you know that by now.”

“I do know that, Harvey.” I reached out a hand for the condom he still held. When he put it in my hand, I laid it on his abdomen and brought his fingers to my pussy lips. I was soaked. “That’s all me, Harvey. Not lube, and it’s because of you. I want this.”

His fingers traced what they could reach of my lips, but when he tried to brush over my clit, I jerked my hips back. Waggling a finger, I smiled at him as I opened the condom packet and started rolling it down over his hard length. I scooted up on my knees until my pussy was centered over his shaft, and I rested there for a second while I contemplated removing the t-shirt. 

Harvey’s hands rested on my thighs while I considered what I wanted to do. Finally, I reached down and grabbed the hem of the t-shirt and pulled it up and over my head. While I started to rock my hips and coat his cock with my arousal, his hands lifted to my breasts. His thumbs traced lightly over my nipples, drawing a whimper out of me. My fingers touched his abdomen as I continued to rock and shifted up just enough to allow him to slide inside of me.  

I paused the motion of my hips while my body adjusted to him. He was larger than the average john. He had my nipples caught between his thumb and forefingers, and he pinched just slightly. My eyes closed as my head leaned back, and I moaned softly while a wave of pleasure washed over me from where his fingers had me to where we were connected.

My hips started to rock then, slowly at first until I found a rhythm I liked, and then I gradually picked up speed. I felt like a wildfire had been set off in my body and the source was my pussy. There was a deep ache there; one telling me I needed to be fucked hard and fast, and Harvey seemed to sense it because he bent his knees and started fucking up into me hard. Soft ‘oh’s’ and ‘mmm’s’ fell from my lips as I just let my body go and relished in the electrifying sensations spreading through my abdomen up through my chest and down into my thighs. Harvey moved his hands from my breasts to my hips as my pussy started clenching around him, and my first orgasm in over seven years started overwhelming me. 

His hips started to lose their rhythm the harder my body milked him until finally, his cock started pulsing inside me. “Jesus! Fuck! Oh God, Roxy!” he groaned as his hips pressed up into me and his cock spilled into the condom.

Suddenly, everything felt like it stopped, and the only thought in my head was, Harvey doesn’t even know who I am.  

My hands came up to cover my face as I started to sob, and I felt Harvey instantly soften inside of me. I felt his hand between us, holding onto the top of the condom so it didn’t slip off as he slid out of me. His whispered apologies fell on mostly deaf ears. I knew he had to get rid of it before we had a problem we didn’t need to worry about. 

I was still on my knees, face buried in my hands, and bawling my eyes out when Harvey made it back to the bed.

His gentle hands pulled me down into his chest as he lay back on the bed, and he engulfed me in his arms. I felt safe with him; not just physically, but everything else, too. Harvey made me feel safe, protected, and cared for, and he didn’t even know my real name.

“Roxy, did I hurt you?”

I shook my head and buried my nose into his shoulder until I could speak. When I did my words were carried on a sob. “No, but that’s not my name.”

His hand threaded through my hair again, soothing me. “Sweetheart, I don’t have anything else to call you.”

That made me sob even harder for a minute, and he pressed a kiss to the top of my head. When I calmed enough to lift my head, I looked into his concerned blue eyes. 

“Hey.” He kissed me lightly and brushed his thumb over my cheeks.

“Hey.”

“Mind telling me what I should call you now?” Harvey smiled at me then, and my heart melted all over again.

Sucking in a deep breath I smiled back at him. “Devlin. Devlin Pearce.”

“Nice to meet you, Devlin Pearce. I’m Harvey Bullock.” Somehow he made it feel perfectly normal, as if we hadn’t spent the last seven years with him calling me Roxy.

“Hi, Harvey.” I snuggled my nose into the bend of his neck and closed my eyes for a minute so I could inhale his scent. 

He started chuckling. “Are you smelling me, Devlin?”

I turned my head so my lips were pressed into his skin. The sound of my real name in Harvey’s voice was doing something to me. “Yes, you smell good and it’s comforting.”

Harvey didn’t say anything, just held me close and kept sweeping his hand up and down my arm. Eventually, the innocent touches weren’t so innocent anymore and Harvey was kissing me. Not just my lips but my face, my neck, my collar bone, and lower. His lips and tongue eased me through that orgasm I had accidentally denied myself earlier and it was simply amazing. 

When I was soft and sated, he grabbed another of the condoms from the nightstand and rolled me under him. I was so wet when he slid into me the second time that I didn’t need the moment he gave me to adjust to his cock. His thrusts were slow and deliberate as he whispered in my ear. He told me things like how beautiful I was, how good I felt around him, and other sweet and dirty things. Every single one was punctuated by my name, which sounded so good coming from him. This time when my body started to convulse and he went over the edge with me, he groaned out my real name.

For the first time in my adult life, I fell asleep in the arms of the man I had fallen in love with feeling safe, satisfied, and cherished.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harvey tries to convince Devlin to get out of prostitution and work for a friend of his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: discussion of mob favors and prostitution

Things went along like that for the next several years. Harvey continued to find reasons to rescue me, and I stopped finding reasons to push him away. 

Except that I did in a sense. 

I was still a prostitute, and he was still a cop. We might live in Gotham, but what happened if someone he worked with found out he was fucking a prostitute? Harvey never paid me. If he ever tried, I would have turned him down flat. 

With him, it was about the connection, feeling safe and loved.

Because when it came right down to it, we loved each other. Even if we never said it.

Saying it would have made the reality of our situation even harder.

It was almost like loving someone you shouldn’t from afar. You love them, you want them to be happy, but you’re sad because you can’t be with them.

That was our reality.

Harvey tried, on more than one occasion, to get me out of prostitution. He had friends. Mob friends that would give me a job. 

The subject came up again, one morning when we were making breakfast in his kitchen. I was sitting up on the counter next to the fridge while he scrambled eggs in a skillet. Five years we’d been doing this, and even though I was an excellent cook, he always insisted on making breakfast for me.

My arms folded over my chest, and I focused on the pan while he talked.

“...I can get you a job in Fish’s club. As a waitress. It’ll be good money, and you can get out.”

“Harvey, that’s just exchanging one bad situation for another.”

That caught him off guard, and he squinted his blue eyes over at me. “How so?”

“Fish is one of Falcone’s high ranking bosses.”

“Yeah.”

“I’d be working for the mob, Harv. What makes you think Fish wouldn’t have me doing things I’m doing now or worse?”

He shook his head and turned back to the eggs. I could read the discomfort in his body language. ”At least you’d be off the street and working someplace I know you’d be safe. Besides, Fish wouldn’t do that to you if I asked.”

I arched a brow when he turned to look at me, “So, you’d owe a mob boss a favor?”

“Yeah.” He shrugged and started dividing eggs between our plates, adding bacon from the microwave, and toast when it popped.

We carried our plates to the table and sat down across from each other.

The silence was deafening.

“What kind of favor. Harv?”

His eyes stayed on his food as he shook his head.

I reached over and put a hand over his forearm resting around his plate. “Harvey, what kind of favor.”

“Nothing any worse than what I’ve already done.” He still wouldn’t look at me.

It was on the tip of my tongue to rail at him, ask him what he’d done and chastise him for getting involved with the mob. How could I, though? I’d spent the last twelve years prostituting myself around Gotham, and Harvey never threw that in my face.

“No.”

The fork in his hand dropped to his plate with a clang, and he looked up at me. “No?”

I just shook my head.

“Why? It would at least get you out of situations where you’re being abused.” 

That was his biggest issue with what I did, the johns hurting me, not that I was having sex with other men. He knew it only meant something when it was him.

“Because then you’d owe the mob a favor. For me. Because of me. I don’t want that between us, Harv.” I held my hand up when he started to protest. “I know you wouldn’t hold it against me. But this is the mob, and there are always strings attached to favors. More things they can hold over your head than whatever they have now. That’s what I don’t want between us.”

The look on his face spoke volumes that any words couldn’t have. He knew exactly what I meant. Whatever they already had on him was bad enough, I wasn’t going to make it worse so he could protect me.

We faced each other for a long uncomfortable moment before he took the last bite of eggs from his plate, stood up, and kissed me on the top of my head. “I’m going to get in the shower. The boy scout’s probably already out, causing trouble.”

I smirked at his nickname for his new partner and watched Harvey rinse his plate, then walk back to the bedroom. As much as I wanted to get myself out of the soul-crushing situation I was in, I wouldn’t do it at Harvey’s expense.

He had enough working against him, it seemed.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harvey gets a devastating phone call.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNINGS: mention of injury and hospitalization along with coma

“Bullock.”

“Harvey Bullock?”

“Yeah?” Harvey pulled his phone from his ear and looked at the caller ID. It seemed vaguely familiar, but he didn’t recognize it offhand. 

When the voice started talking again, he fumbled with the phone for a second before getting it back to his ear. 

“This is Dr. Andrews from Gotham General ER. You’re listed as the emergency contact for a Devlin Pearce.”

It took Harvey a second to realize the doctor called Dev by her real name and not her street name. Another second passed before he realized the doctor said he was Dev’s emergency contact. That’s when he jumped up from his chair and started to panic.

“What happened?” He was already grabbing his jacket and storming by Gordon, who gave him a confused look. Harvey mouthed ‘family emergency’ and left the GCPD.

“I can’t give you any details over the phone, Mr. Bullock, but I can tell you she’s in critical condition, and we need you to come to the hospital as soon as you can.”

“I’m already on my way.” Harvey disconnected and tossed his phone in the passenger seat of his car.

He wasn’t quite sure how he made it to Gotham General, but the next thing he knew, he was storming into the ER, demanding Dr. Andrews.

A middle-aged doctor came over to the nurse's station, where Harvey was making a scene. “I’m Dr. Andrews, are you Mr. Bullock?”

“Detective, yeah.” Harvey was looking frantically at each of the patient cubicles and wishing he had a flask of something really strong with him.

“Detective Bullock, let’s go to one of the waiting rooms, and we can talk there.” The doctor walked quickly, seeming to know that Harvey’s patience was thin enough without further delay.

* * *

Harvey was in Devlin’s ICU room every moment he could be. His worst nightmare had almost come true, and he wasn’t going to leave her side any longer than he had to.

A john hopped up on one of the new drugs coming out of God only knew where had used Devlin as his own personal punching bag. By the time he was done, she was barely clinging to life. When the motel owner didn’t get the key back after an hour, he went to the room to demand payment for another hour and found her.

It felt all too familiar to Harvey. They were lucky. Very lucky. Twice Devlin had almost died at the hands of a john, and Harvey wasn’t about to risk the third time being the proverbial charm.

He sat in the chair next to her bed, staring at her, and sipping the whiskey from the flask he brought with him. His thoughts drifted over where his life had gone in the last month. No longer with the GCPD, he had a job at his favorite bar as a bartender. What would Devlin think of that if she woke up?

That made him sit up straight in his chair.

Not if, Harv, he thought to himself. When. The nurses all kept telling him to think positively, but after almost a month, it was getting harder.

Harvey had slid down in the chair, and his eyes almost drifted closed when he thought he saw one of her fingers twitch. That prompted him to lean forward to focus her hand. When her finger twitched again, he jumped up and started to push the call bell frantically.

Devlin’s nurse rushed into the room, “What’s wrong? None of her alarms are going off.”

“Her finger…” He pointed as it twitched again.

The nurse gave him a sympathetic look as she checked Devlin’s skin then increased the rate of her IV drip. “Mr. Bullock, it’s just a muscle spasm.”

“But it’s the first time she’s moved since she’s been here.”

“She feels a little dehydrated, and her electrolytes might be off. That causes them.”

He looked disappointed as he ran a hand through his messy beard and sat back down.

She put a hand on his shoulder. “You should probably go home and get some real sleep and a shower. We’ll call you if anything changes.”

Harvey just shook his head.

After the nurse left, he let out the anguished sigh he’d been holding in. “Come on, Dev. You have to wake up, sweetheart.”

Needing to touch her, he pulled the chair closer to the bed and gently lifted her hand to his lips. He stared at the back of her hand, willing her finger to move again. Harvey knew it wasn’t just a muscle spasm. It had to be her. 

Finally, he pressed their clasped hands to the side of his face, his other hand cradling his eyes and forehead as he finally let a few tears fall.

A long inhale followed by a faint whispering caught his attention, and he opened his eyes. Devlin’s hand jerked in his, and he heard the whispers again. When he lifted his head, Devlin’s eyes were just barely open, and she was squeezing his hand.

He started laughing and crying at the same time and pressed her palm into his lips. 


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Devlin makes a decision and Harvey calls in a favor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNINGS: solicitation for sex

“Harvey, I can’t keep sitting here doing nothing. It’s been two months. I have to go back to work.”

It was the same discussion we’d been having for the last month. He got frustrated every time I brought it up.

He poked his scruffy face around the shower curtain to look at me. “Dev, you can’t go back on the street.”

I folded my arms over my chest and stared at him as water dripped from his hair onto the bath mat where I stood. “What am I supposed to do? Keep living off of you?”

His head disappeared back behind the shower curtain, and the water shut off. When Harvey shoved aside the shower curtain, he gave me an exasperated look and held out his hand for his towel. I put it in his hands and stepped back while he got out of the tub to dry himself off.

“You’re not living off me, so stop that. And you’re not sitting around doing nothing. This place is cleaner than it’s ever been.” The towel dropped from his face, and his blue eyes focused on me. “And I’m sober.”

“I can only do so much cleaning in this apartment, Harv. I need to do something. Do you really think I want to go back to selling myself? But what else can I do?”

Huffing out a breath, he wrapped the towel around his waist and examined his beard in the mirror. “Come work at the bar with me.”

“I don’t have any ID. They aren’t going to hire me.”

“I’ll take care of it.”

“How?”

He braced his hands on the sink and looked at me in the mirror. “Damnit, woman, can you stop pestering me for two seconds?”

I knew he wasn’t upset with me, but his tone still stung. “Yeah, sure.”

When I stepped away from the door, he reached out and gently grabbed my wrist. “Devlin, I’m sorry I snapped. I just…”

“It’s okay.” I moved back into the bathroom and put my arms around Harvey’s neck, pushing up on my toes. I pressed a kiss to his lips.

“No, it’s not, sweetheart.” He leaned into the kiss and wrapped his arms around me, resting his chin on top of my head once he broke the kiss. “This shithole of a city just keeps getting worse, and I don’t want you getting taken down with it.”

My nose was right in the hollow of his neck, and I took a deep breath of his clean woodsy scent. “I know.” I was getting distracted by the smell of Harvey’s skin and tilted my head to nip at his Adam’s apple.

“Are you biting me?”

“Mmmmhmmm…” I hummed against his throat as I traced circles over it with my tongue. My fingers slipped between the towel and his belly, making him suck in a breath, and I pulled the end free, letting it fall to the floor. “Ooops.”

* * *

I was carrying a basket of clean laundry back to Harvey’s apartment at the same time his neighbor, Joel, was going into his across the hall. I’d seen Joel in passing a few times but never said much to him. Nodding my head his way, I started to get my keys out to unlock Harvey’s door when Joel’s words stopped me cold.

“I hear you’re a pretty good fuck for fifty bucks.”

Swallowing hard, I put my key in the lock and didn’t say anything.

“I can pay you a hundred.”

Turning to face him, I shook my head. “I don’t do that anymore.”

His eyes looked me over from head to toe, lingering at my breasts and the apex of my thighs. Nothing in my life had made me feel more like a prostitute than the way he looked at me at that moment.

“Two hundred is as high as I’m willing to go.”

My mouth dropped open in shock. I was stunned speechless.

“Think about it and let me know.” He shrugged and went into his apartment.

I stood there a few more seconds before I went back to unlocking Harvey’s door and took the laundry inside. When I got back to the bedroom, I sat the basket on the bed and glanced at the mussed covers from where Harvey had made love to me earlier.

Not fucked. Made love.

Did I want to go back to selling myself for money? No.

Did I see much of a choice if I wanted to contribute to paying the rent, buying food, or the other bills that had to be paid? No.

Two hundred dollars would go a long way to helping out.

Sighing, I went to the closet and rifled through my things until I found my street clothes. Pulling a condom packet from the jacket I used to wear, I went back to the front door.

My hand paused on the doorknob as I thought of Harvey.

A rush of memories threatened to overwhelm me, and tears sprung to my eyes.

I didn’t want to do this. There had to be some other way.

Harvey was the only man I ever wanted to touch me again.

The condom went back in the jacket pocket, and I pulled all of my street clothes out of the closet. Marching back to the kitchen, I grabbed a garbage bag and carried it to the bedroom, where I stuffed everything from my old life as Roxy into it. It all went right into the dumpster behind the building along with the condoms in the jacket.

When I got back inside, I found Harvey standing in the kitchen.

“Hey,” he smiled when he saw me. “Where’d you go?”

“Took out the trash.”

His eyes squinted in confusion as he looked between the almost full trash can and me.

“Remnants of Roxy,” I clarified for him.

A flicker of surprise crossed his face before he smiled and handed me a large envelope. “Well, then I think this is just in time.”

“What is it?” I looked at the front and back, but there was nothing written on it.

“Open it.”

My eyes kept flicking up to his face as I did as he asked and dumped the contents onto the kitchen counter. I covered my mouth with my hand when I saw what was there.

It was my birth certificate, social security card, and a print out of the driver’s license I lost when Jason dumped me here.

I could finally get my identity back.

“H- How?” This time the tears ran down my cheeks.

He shrugged, giving me a sort of half-smile. “I called in a favor.”

My fingers traced the writing over the documents on the counter, my heart fluttering in my chest with a feeling I thought I’d lost a long time ago.

“We can go tomorrow if you want and get you a current ID. The owner of the bar said you could work my shifts as a waitress.”

Harvey looked hopeful, and for the first time in over a decade, I was too.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harvey and Devlin finally get their happily ever after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: some angst and mention of drinking

Harvey went back to the GCPD. I knew it would happen. Law enforcement was in his blood even if his path had taken some wrong turns at times. 

What bothered me was how he changed after he went back. 

He’d been sober since he left there. Once he was dragged back in, he started drinking again. The cynicism was back. He started looking more and more haggard, and he gained weight.

The GCPD was going to kill him, and I hated it. 

Of course, Jim Gordon had a lot to do with it.

Not only with his stubborn pride but his hypocritical view of Harvey’s choice in me.

Jim discovered we were together while Harvey was still working at the bar. He came in one night to ask Harvey to come back and figured it out. I heard their argument about Harvey being with a prostitute. Jim didn’t want to hear about all the things wrong with the women he chose to be in his life.

After Harvey went back, it wasn’t just Jim.

That weighed on Harvey. I could see it, and there was nothing I could do about it. My past was my past, and I wasn’t about to give Harvey up because some boy scout had a holier than thou attitude and thought I was beneath him.

If Harvey chose to give me up, that was an entirely different story.

I started looking for other places we could go — small towns in the midwest where no one knew either of us.

One morning after making breakfast, I was sitting at the table with my laptop researching a particularly promising little town. Harvey dropped a kiss on top of my head then sat down in front of his plate.

“What are you looking at, sweetheart?”

My eyes lifted to his, and I rested my chin in my hand. “Other places we could live.”

He looked around the apartment. “I thought you liked this place? Why do we need to move?”

“It’s not the apartment, Harv.”

His fork dropped to his plate, and he looked at me, open-mouthed. “Are you pregnant?”

I rolled my eyes. “No.”

“Thank God.” He went back to eating, completely missing my hurt look. “So, what are you looking for?”

“Nothing.” I closed the laptop then stood up with my plate in hand, pausing to bend and kiss his cheek. “Just dreaming, I suppose.”

By the time I rinsed my plate and walked back to the table, he was standing up and wiping his mouth on his napkin. “I gotta go, this city is imploding.”

I sighed and leaned in when Harvey kissed me.

“Gotham is always imploding. That will never change.”

He put his hat on and nodded. “Yeah, you might be right about that.”

It didn’t take long for Gotham to quite literally implode, and somehow we made it through.

At one point after it was all said and done, Harvey and I were sitting in his office – it was his again because Gordon was the newly minted Commissioner – passing a bottle of whiskey back and forth. He said something that made me choke on the sip I’d taken.

Coming around to the front of his desk, he patted me on the back and took the bottle away. “Geez, was it that much of a shock?”

“Repeat what you said?”

“I said we should get out of Gotham and make a life somewhere else.”

“Away from the GCPD and Jim Gordon? Are you sure you can handle that?”

He leaned back against his desk and looked out to the officers going about their day. Then his blue eyes focused on me. “Sweetheart, it’s about time I live the life I want, and that life is with you.”

“Are you sure?”

Harvey dropped to a knee and held up a gold ring with a purple stone in it.

My eyebrow quirked as I looked at it.

“Got it from Penguin, there haven’t exactly been any opportunities to buy you a real ring.” He paused and looked at it with pursed lips, then held it up again. “I love you, Devlin Pearce, and I hope you feel the same enough to want to marry me.”

He looked so hopeful and so sincere that any doubts I may have ever had regarding his feelings for me or how our relationship started went right out the window.

I held my left hand out so he could slide the ring on my finger, it really was gaudy, and smiled as I dropped down in front of him. “I love you too, Harv. Of course, I’ll marry you.”

“Is tomorrow too soon? The temporary bridge to the mainland is open. I say we pack whatever we have left in the car and make a run for it. We can get married on the way.”

And that’s what we did.

There wasn’t much left. It all fit in the trunk of the old car Harvey had managed to keep running. He told Jim what we were planning, and I was surprised when Harvey said the man had wholeheartedly given us his blessing. Not that we needed it, but it was nice to know that Harvey’s best friend finally supported his choice in me. I suspected that the crazy in Jim’s own life had taught him a thing or two.

The next day we left Gotham for good, never to return, and settled in a little Midwest town where no one knew our history. We were just Mr. and Mrs. Bullock, the new sheriff, and his wife.

And when I really did turn up pregnant, Harvey was the happiest I’d ever seen him.

After nearly twenty years, life was finally good.

**Author's Note:**

> If you like my work kudos are appreciated. If you love it comments are wonderful. If you have constructive criticism or questions let's talk. If you leave blatantly rude or negative comments, know that no hate is allowed here and will be deleted. And if you read my work and are too shy to interact right now, know that's okay too.
> 
> I can be found on Tumblr at https://too-many-fanfiction-fandoms


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